Wedding Etiquette

We have been enjoying, taking part in, and attending weddings for centuries, however they have evolved over time into what we recognize today as the perfect wedding. Then again, what is the perfect wedding? A desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or Westminster Abbey? Then we have to consider the dreaded guest list and the Plus 1’s, and let’s not forget the children and animals you wish to invite. 

I have created my top ten list of things to remember when it comes to weddings, and if you follow my advice you will be able to recreate your very own Royal Wedding. 

Now, before we go any further, an important fact. A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions do indeed vary from country to country. The majority of wedding services involve the exchange of vows to each other, and above all, the important wedding ring. This all has to be conducted by an authorized figure and in a licensed venue so let’s not ask the local plumber. Special wedding garments might be worn, and the ceremony is usually followed by a wedding reception, dinner and dancing. 

1. Invitations and save the date - Please give the guests as much notice as possible the minimum of 12 weeks. The invitation should be sent out 6 weeks prior to the wedding.  Some people may also have an engagement party once the announcement has been released with perhaps an official photograph or an announcement in the national or local paper. 

2. The Guest List - This can make and break friendships. The so called Plus 1’s are only accepted if they are known to the bride and groom, and of course only if numbers permit as this also affects the venue, food and drink. In other words the all important budget. Don't be offended if children aren't invited, as this could be due to space etc.

3. Wedding Ceremony Seating - Ushers have the very important duty of showing guests to their places. The groom’s family and friends should be seated on the right, and bride’s on the left, and let’s not forget the hierarchy as this again can make or break families. The senior members of the family are seated on the front rows, and don't forget to leave room for the bridesmaids and flower girls, as they will walk up the aisle behind the bride. 

4. Money Money Money - Traditionally the Bride’s wonderful and very generous parents paid the overall cost of the wedding in order to marry their daughter to a gentleman. The groom’s parents these days may pay for the drinks or going away car. This is open for discussion in the 21st century, which will please a lot of bride’s parents.

5. The Reception/Wedding Breakfast – bride and groom meet and greet the guests at they arrive. A traditional sit down meal have the top table with the bride and groom, both sets of parents, best man and chief bridesmaid. During a drinks reception photos can be taken.

6. Gifts - The bride and groom buy the presents for the bridesmaids, flower girls, best man, page boys and of course the usher. Don't forget they also buy a gift or flowers for the mothers, which would be presented at the speeches. Presents to the happy couple are opened in advance so thank you letters can be written on honeymoon.

7. Speeches - These  are made at either the drinks reception or during a meal when guests sit down, and some people may even give speeches during the coffee. For the speeches we have the best man who thanks the bridesmaids and flower girl and reads out messages, followed by the bride’s father, and finally the speeches are ended with the groom, who will thank the parents of the bride and his parents.  

8. The Cake - The all important wedding cake is normally cut at the end of the speeches. This is a very important photo opportunity but lets keep this dignified as it is not a photo-shoot for the next Marks and Spencer's campaign. If you choose a chocolate cake always have a top tier made as fruitcake to send family or close friends if they could not attend. Top tiers are also for keeping for the christening the first child. 

9. Honeymoon - The bride and groom pay the actual honeymoon; never assume the parents will pay for this!  Around 23.00pm the Bride and groom will change into their “Going Away Clothes” and will then depart for their romantic break to either a desert island or wherever your dreams take you. 

10. Fireworks - Upon departing you might arrange a little fireworks display but if we are looking at 30 seconds of cheap fireworks and not a 5min extravaganza then let’s pass on this idea. The couple would then usually depart at midnight.

Petiquette

The Great British public are famously known as pet lovers, however these days that can be said in quite a few other countries as well. As we see our beloved pets become more than just the dog or the cat as they become our Bobo, Cuddles and Precious and are very much now part of the family. Gone are the days of sleeping outside in the cold dark kennel and hello to a palatial bedroom which may even consist of a four poster bed, with a gold water bowl and special lifts to get up and down one’s stair case. Yes, it really is a dog’s life! In fact, I even know some dogs that are looked after better than your other half. 

Now what we have to try to remember is that our beloved children may not be viewed in the same light when they decided to jump on your ex best friend’s luxury sofa or have a lovely roll around after a lovely walk outside while enjoying a mud bath, on their newly laid cream carpet; Yes, the joys of ex-best friends. But animal lovers across the world, don't worry I am going to save your relationships with you friends, families and better halves as I have created the top ten pet etiquette rules. Follow these rules and we won’t go wrong. 

1: Chairs and Bedding - This may be the normal procedure for your beloved pet to go on your soft furnishings, however, when visiting others we don't allow this unless permission is granted in advance. 

2: Ask before we feed - Never feed someone else’s pet without permission, owners may have them on strict diets or they might be allergic to something the same way us humans cannot eat things, therefore always ask.

3: Don’t stroke without permission - Our beloved pets may be like gentle little ‘Winnie the Poo’ to us but to someone else it might be more of a case of Jaws, therefore always ask before we stroke.

4: Always pick up their “manure”  – Unfortunately, our loved one’s (referring to the pets) may suddenly have to go, lets face it we have all been there, but sadly they are unable to deal with the aftermath so can we always make sure we bag and bin as soon as the procedure is over. 

5: Always ask before taking them with you - They may have been to palaces, castles, stately homes and the local spa, however Great Aunt Dorothy may not feel the same warmth toward your Bobo as you do; therefore always ask before taking them with you. Even if visiting a shop, always ask before you enter.

6: Never leave them with someone else without their permission - For some reason some people find it quite acceptable to suddenly pop off to the shops and leave the family pet with their best friend at a moment’s notice. We must always plan and ask in advance and we never assume.  If you have a pet visiting you, make sure you have plenty of water and a few treats.

7: Always give a gift to a pet sitter - If someone is good enough to look after your Cuddles, then may I suggest a little gift might be in order and I don't mean vouchers for the local Psychiatric ward but more a voucher for a local spa or if there is a budget, then a nice box of chocolates. 

8: Pay for any damage they may cause - Animals will be animals and to your shock, may have a mad five minutes, and your little Precious has either caused minimal damage or a scene that resembles a war zone, therefore always be willing to cover the costs of any damage. 

9: Don’t let other people trip over them - Our little babies can be a trip hazard especially when they are the size of a mouse, therefore we must always be aware of this.  In large crowds perhaps pick them up and carry them through the public, I doubt they will complain. 

10: Keep noise volume to an Alexa two.  - Our little sweeties can have large, loud voices similar to the local fog horn which I very much doubt the neighbours will appreciate; therefore perhaps ask them or even better train them to lower their beautiful voices.

Her Majesty's Yacht Britannia

A visit to HMY The Royal Yacht Britannia 

Recently I was honoured to be invited on to Her Majesty's Yacht Britannia. Now for those of you who may not know, the British Royal family for several hundred years have owned a Royal Yacht. Britannia to date is the last Royal yacht and was decommissioned in 1995. She is now based in Leith, Scotland and has become Scotland’s Number one Tourist attraction. I was thrilled to be invited to go onboard to have a look around including seeing the drawing room and dining room. 

When we arrived, I was invited on board via the VIP entrance which is used for guests hosting private events on the ship or VIP visitors. I was most impressed at the size and the grandeur of Britannia. It is small in terms of modern yachts, yet it is beautiful and tasteful. It is also slightly dated but this adds to the character and history of the ship. 

When we arrived, I was shown into one of the meeting rooms which has a waitress/butler in attendance to offer us tea/coffee and cakes. 

May I add the carrot cake was delicious and beautifully presented on fine china plates with lovely paper napkins with the Britannia crest on each one. After the meeting, we were offered a tour of the ship’s main features which included the sun lounge, drawing room and dining room. I was delighted to be asked to go into the drawing room for a few photographs. Everything is still as it was when the Queen and the Royal family were still on board. In fact, the clocks are all stopped at 15.01 which was the time the Queen last left the ship. 

After the drawing room and a quick look at the sun lounge, we then went to see the dining room. I was asked my advice on the layup of the table which was beautifully done. The only thing I noted was the the butter knives were placed incorrectly on the butter dishes and I was permitted to move these to where I felt they should go, which is just in front of each dish. Once I moved these I did say I would not be offended if they moved them back, however since then I have been in touch with Bruce who is the head of events and he informed me that he would leave the knives in their new positions, which I felt very honoured to be told. In a way, I also felt I was helping to keep up the Royal standards which this ship was also known for. Britannia was a way of taking British customs and traditions across the world with the Royal family or government minsters. I also checked the spacing of the cutlery and glassware and made a few other suggestions as I went around which will hopefully assist them during their events. 

I was then invited to view the display cupboards where I recognised the glassware which had the initials ER and the candlestick lights which were used on board. When Britannia was in service, no naked flames were used onboard; instead they used electric light bulbs on the candlesticks which, if I may say, worked beautifully. Back in 1992 there was a wonderful documentary about Britannia which I watched as a child and in fact, it was this documentary on ER that gave me the dream and ambition to one day work for the Royal family and serve the Queen. 

After spending a few hours on the ship, it was time to disembark, with time for a few more photographs then it was time to leave; however I hope that it will not be long until I return and look forward to seeing if any of my other suggestions have been taken onboard. 

While on board, Bruce and myself discussed napkin folding and he kindly sent me a link to some interesting folds. Here is my youtube video with me demonstrating a few of them - youtube.com/theroyalbutler

Etiquette of The Loo or not the Loo? That is the Question.

Since humans first walked the earth we have of course had a few basic needs. One of them being to relieve ourselves of our human waste. This has adapted many different sayings from "I am going to the Toilet" to "One's off to powder one’s nose". My question is where do these terms come from and what is the history behind it all? I decided to run a poll on Twitter to see what the general public felt about these terms and the results were fascinating but I will come back to these results later in the blog.

You may well ask, how long have we had the luxury of toilets/bathrooms and sewage works? Amazingly the answer is thousands of years. The Romans and Egyptians were the first to have had working sewers. Sir Mortimer Wheeler wrote, "The high quality of the sanitary arrangements could be envied in many parts of the world today". Sir Mortimer was the director general of archaeology in India from 1944 to 1948. He was of course referring to the fact that in 3000BC "Toilets" and sewers were invented in several parts of the world, with the Indus Valley civilisation being one of the most advanced in 2800BC. They had lavatories built into the outer walls of houses which were made with bricks and wooden seat tops with vertical chutes where the waste fell down into the street drains or cesspits. 

An example of "toilets" with flowing water to remove the waste were discovered early in Skara Bra in Orkney, Scotland which were occupied between 3100BC and 2500BC. These had a drain running directly underneath them. In the 18th Century BC Egyptians were using "toilets". Roman "toilets" are thought to have been in the sitting position, however sitting "toilets" only came into general use in the 19th Century in the western world. The Romans also installed "toilets" in the Bath Houses using running water. 

It was in 1596 that Sir John Harington, who was a prominent member of Queen Elizabeth I court, invented the modern flush "toilet" in his house in 1596. It was here that Queen Elizabeth I tried out his new invention. It was however Thomas Crapper who increased the popularity of the "toilet" and invented the ballcock. Thomas's product became high demand and was issued with several Royal warrants. Thomas Crapper also owned the worlds first bath, "toilet" and sink showroom in Kings Road, London until 1966. It should also be noted that sadly, this is where the word “crap” does indeed hail from due to his association with Lavatories. 

There is also interesting debates as to what you should call the daily ritual. It is for this reason that I am going to explain where the different variations come from. 

The word toilet is of course French. Many things in the 18th century Britain had French influence as it was fashionable for the times. Toilet means toile which is French for cloth. This toile or cloth would be draped over the lady or gentleman's shoulders while there was a series of operations been carried out on their hair and in relation to body care, which included the morning routine of washing, shaving, and making the person up. This took place around the dressing table which was also covered with a cloth on which the toile service was displayed. It consisted of a mirror and various brushes and it also contained the powder for make up. This ensemble would be called toilette as was the time spent at the table during which close friends and tradesmen were being received. It was only in later years that the word "toilet" became a euphemism for lavatory, as it would be said in the expression "powder my nose" meaning they were going to the "toilet". 

The word Lavatory is Latin for lavātōrium, which in turn comes from Latin for lavō ("I wash"). The word was referring to a sink or wash basin for washing, but eventually became a room for washing which would be found for example in medieval monasteries. Later the word became associated with "toilets" because the "toilet" would move into the same room that you wash in, and the meaning has over the centuries evolved into the present meaning. 

The term Loo has many theories but a personal favourite of mine is that it evolved from the word Waterloo, with the first recorded entry of the word in 1922. Waterloo or Watercloset would of course be shortened to Loo. 

Chamber pots were a pot in which you would excrete waste. These were made of ceramic or metal. Romans and Greeks brought them for meals and drinking sessions to other Roman or Greek homes. There were large receptacles in the cities into which the pots of urine would be emptied which was then collected and used for the urea in various production. In the ancient times pilgrims took chamber pots with them on the journeys, in the early modern era they would be made from China and copper with decoration. They were popular in the Victorian era.

Before the flushing Loo, people would use the chamber pot at night. I should add before flushing loos, the Loo was situated in a separate building or an outhouse next to the main house. Indoor lavatories were first provided for the upper classes and over time became available for the lower classes. In 1890 building regulations stated that the working class homes did not require indoor loos.  Today we don't use chamber pots except in hospitals which we now call bedpans. 

Now to the interesting debate and the correct term;  in 1954 Alan S.C Ross coined the terms "u and no u" (us and non us) in an article on the differences that social class makes in the usage of the English. Author Nancy Mitford wrote an essay on "The English Aristocracy" in 1954 using u and non u and provided a glossary of terms used by the upper classes. In this the world "toilet" was referred to as Lavatory or Loo but never "toilet", and to this day the term is still used by the upper classes. I personally find it amusing considering the term originally was "toilet" as used by the French, and let's not forget a French King created etiquette. It is interesting therefore that we choose not to use the French term but rather go with the term that refers to a waterloo (watercloset). This of course is how the British have developed etiquette into their own. The world now seems to look to us for this guidance. 

The question I ran in my poll last week was ‘what is the corrects term, Toilet, Lavatory or Loo, or Other’. The results were interesting and are as follows:

Toilet 23%

Lavatory or Loo 66%

Other 11%

So it appears the majority agree with Nancy Mitford that the correct term is of course Loo.

A huge thank you to everyone as always who took part in this week’s Twitter poll, without your wonderful votes and comments this would not be possible. This week I will run my next poll on Wednesday. 

Etiquette of The Shoe

We have been wearing protection on our feet for well over 10,000 years. We all take it for granted that as part of our dressing ritual we place this protective item on our feet. Could you imagine if suddenly we did not have shoes? We would be restricted on what and where we can go but thankfully our ancestors thought about this and came up with the protective essential.

So who came up with the idea for a shoe? The earliest known shoe or rather, sandal, was found in 1938 in The Forest Rock Cave in the United States of America. The oldest leather shoe was found in a cave in Armenia in 2008 which dates back to 3500 BC. This shoe was made from a single piece of cowhide laced with leather cord along seams on the front and back.

It has been discovered by scientists that since we have been wearing shoes, this has resulted in less bone growth resulting in shorter and thinner toes as the thickness has decreased over the 26,000 years.

Even though Thong Sandals became a popular piece of footwear many ancient civilisations still preferred to be barefoot. Ancient Greeks shoes were worn in the theatre as a sign of status. Ancient Gods and heroes were depicted barefoot! Romans however came to see shoes as a sign of power and a necessity of the civilised world, but their slaves were always barefoot.

As civilisations developed, Thong Sandals were worn, which are our equivalent to modern day flip flops.There are images of the ancient Egyptians wearing them in 4000 BC. Another pair found in Europe were made from papyrus leaves and dated from 1500 years ago. Papyrus and palm leave Thong Sandals were the materials of the ancient Egyptians. Sandals were also popular in the first century in Jerusalem. The Masai of Africa made their sandals out of rawhide, while in India they were made from wood and rice straw was used in China and Japan. Leaves of the sisal plant made twine for sandals in South America and the Yucca plant was used in Mexico.

Medieval shoes were made with leather using a method known as the turnshoe method. This is when the leather was turned inside to make the shoe, then turned the right way when finished. Some shoes were even made with drawstrings to tighten the leather around the foot. The turnshoe method was replaced with the welted method in the 1500s. At this point patterns also became popular, also around this point Crakow shoes were popular which had extremely long toes. In the 16th Century, Royalty started wearing high heeled shoes to make them look taller and powerful, this is where we get the term “well heeled”. In the 17th Century most leather shoes had a sewn on sole and this remains the same way to this day. Shoemaking was commercialised in the 18th century to cope with the demand for quality shoes.

From the point of view of shoe etiquette, it is very simple! In the United Kingdom we are quite relaxed about wearing our shoes but in Arab culture you never show the sole of a shoe as it is considered rude. The only thing I do strongly recommend, during the day when visiting someone privately ( i.e. not a lunch / dinner party or event), if the shoes are dirty then it is polite to offer to remove them.

I also have a rule that brown shoes are for the day and black shoes are for the evening, however as fashions change, brown shoes are becoming more acceptable at evening events, such as a drinks party at an art gallery, paired with a dark navy suit. There is an urban myth that brown shoes are for the country and black shoes are for the city;  this is nonsense and I ask you all to ignore this myth.

On a more delicate nature I must also add if you suffer from BFO (Bad Foot Odour) then I recommend you address this before removing shoes in someone else's home. There are many products on the market to assist you with this, as there is nothing worse than for you and the host to have to sample your unpleasant fragrant problem in their home and worse still with their guests, as this can make you feel extremely embarrassed and unsure how to address the situation .

When it comes to the care and maintenance of your shoes, this is a very simple procedure which people seem to worry about. Personally I enjoy cleaning shoes and see it as a relaxing and enjoyable experience allowing me to make pride in seeing my work on my employer’s feet. Part of my butler courses also sees me teaching the students this time old method.

Very simply make sure you have the correct shoe polishes you need, i.e. Brown, Black or Neutral etc. It is important you are sure it is an exact match. I personally use Kiwi Shoe Polish. If you are not sure about the colour, always do a test area first! Next you need a cloth to apply the polish and one to take it off. I use two dusters for this. Remember each colour requires its own cloths for applying and taking off. Next, you need two old toothbrushes for the hard to reach spots, and finally you need to decide if you are going to use the spit and polish method or boiling water. 

I always put down some old newspaper on the area I will be cleaning the shoes to protect the surface of the table. If you are using water, boil the kettle, open the shoe polishing tin and in the lid part you will pour a small amount of the boiling water. Prepare the shoe by wiping off any excess dirt and taking a damp cloth over the sole to make sure the shoe is free from dirt. You then get one of the cloths and apply a small amount of water and then apply a small amount of shoe polish to the cloth. In a circular motion, you apply the polish all over the shoe. You can use the tooth brush (soft bristles) to apply the polish along the point where the leather joins the sole (welt) as this can be a tricky area to get into. Leave the shoe as you repeat the same process to the other shoe. I then leave them for around 15 minutes to settle. With the other cloth, you buff the whole shoe. The welt area is buffed with the other tooth brush. Buff vigorously until you achieve a good shine, then repeat the process to the other shoe. If you want to apply the spit and polish method, it is the same steps as above except instead of water you use your saliva (spit). You do this onto the side of the tin that contains the polish and gentle rub into the polish with the cloth and apply a small amount on the the shoe and rub all over. When buffing the shoe you also spit on the shoe a few times as you continue to buff.

If you are cleaning suede shoes, you do not apply water, spit or polish to the suede. You can use a damp cloth on the outer sole and heel. There are specialist cleaning products which any cobblers can recommend.

Recently, I ran a poll asking my social media followers how often do you clean your shoes. The results were the following:

Daily: 12%

Weekly: 12%

When required: 67%

Never: 9%

Thankfully, 'Never' was the lowest as you can see. I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who took part in the poll and the next poll will run this Wednesday, 24th February.

Breakfast Etiquette

Breakfast

One of my favourite meals of the day is the first meal of the day, breakfast! Breakfast is classed as the most important meal of the day. Those of us who skip it realise that it affects our daily performance. I have personally discovered that on many occasion, if skipped, then by lunch time I struggle with concentration and accuracy of what I am doing. I am sure this is the case for many  people who choose to do the same.

Breakfast today has become more than just cereal, cooked breakfast and toast with many variations from pancakes and syrup to chocolate cereal bars.

As with all my blogs, lets begin with a little history behind breakfast. As the name suggests, Break Fast was breaking the fast from the previous night.

An early morning meal has been taken for thousands of years going back to the Neolithic times when people then used quern-stones to grind hulled grains and then boiled them to make something similar to porridge. Workers of ancient Egypt would also eat an early morning meal of beer, bread and onions before they were put to work by the Pharaohs. In Ancient Greece, their early first meal of the day consisted of barley bread dripped in wine accompanied by figs and olives. Greeks were also known to have pancakes. In Rome, the early morning meal was known to consist of bread, cheese, olives, salad and cold meats left over from the night before, as well as drinking wine.

In the Middle Ages breakfast was not considered important, but they would have two meals during the day. One in mid morning and one early evening, though this did vary throughout Europe.

In the 13th century, Dominican priest Thomas Aquinas wrote in his Summa Theologica that breakfast committed “praepropere": a sin of eating too early, which was connected with gluttony. In this time, overindulgence and gluttony were considered wrong by the Catholic Church. The Catholics  presumed that if you ate breakfast then you had other lusty appetites too. Alcohol, wine and ale were considered to be a weakness.

Breakfast in certain areas was only taken by children, the elderly, the sick and working men. Everyone else did not speak of or take part in eating in the morning. To eat  breakfast meant that you were poor, or worked as a farmer or labourer who needed the meal to sustain work. Medieval people saw gluttony as a sin and a sign of weakness and men became ashamed of eating breakfast.

In the 15th century, breakfast included meat. At this point, noble men were seen to enjoy and take part in breakfast and therefore it became common practice. In the 16th-century the Europeans were introduced to caffeinated beverages and this paved the way for consideration to allow breakfast. It was believed that coffee and tea helped the body in “evacuation of superfluities" and it was therefore consumed in the morning.

In the early sixteenth century, some physicians warned against eating breakfast because they said it was not healthy to eat before a prior meal was digested. By the 1550s, however there were multiple sources that claimed breakfast was actually an essential necessary meal. In 1551 Thomas Wingfield stated that breakfast was an essential meal. In 1589, Thomas Cogan stated that it was unhealthy to miss breakfast in the morning. Mr Cogan was one of the first to claim that it was healthy for those who were not young, ill or elderly to eat breakfast.

Prior to 1600, breakfast in the United Kingdom included bread, cold meat, fish and of course ale.

Today, the full English breakfast consists of bacon, sausages and eggs, often served with a variety of side dishes and a beverage such as coffee or tea.

The etiquette of breakfast is very simple. Breakfast is a sit down meal with a spoon and a starter fork and two starter knives (small); you also have a side plate and napkin. Your breakfast starts with a glass of freshly squeezed orange or apple juice. You then have a cereal, such as bran or similar, followed by the full English breakfast which always includes toast. During the meal, you would take tea or coffee. The toast should arrive with the crusts cut off and in rectangles. The reason for this is the fact you never cut toast at the table, nor should you break it. The pieces in the toast rack should be small enough to eat in a few bites. You apply the butter and condiment of your choice on the side of your plate and apply it to the toast from there. If you have larger pieces of toast, don't butter and apply your condiment all in one go, rather focus on a small piece at a time, but as mentioned you don't cut or break it.

Last week I ran a poll on Twitter asking if my followers like the crusts left on or cut off. The results were the following:

Crust% on 82%

Crusts off 18%

This was an interesting result showing that the majority felt the crusts are an important part of their breakfast. I was asked what should happen to the crusts that are cut off and it is simple. All crusts are given to the chickens or to the birds.

I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who took part in the poll and I will run my next poll later this week.

The Ritual Of A Handshake

Handshakes have been an important part of human civilization for many centuries, the first thing we do as human beings, when we meet another human being is to offer a hand as a sign of friendship and to show we mean no harm to the other person.

As we know, it is not always appropriate to hug or kiss someone, especially if you have never met this person before, so the handshake is without question the perfect introduction to another. Sadly today, the younger generation don’t seem so keen on handshakes as they have become second to a thing called ‘fist bumping’ or ‘hi-fiveing’, which is shocking considering they are the future of the human race, so could this mean an end to handshakes?

We have been shaking hands for over 2500 years. The first recorded image is of two soldiers in ancient Greece shaking hands taken in the fifth century BC. Handshakes are seen as a sign of friendship, and you mean no harm to one another by demonstrating that you held no weapon.  Today, handshakes are offered upon meeting or leaving someone, offering congratulations or showing gratitude to another.  It is also done as a sign of goodwill in sports and competitions, and it shows trust, respect and confidence to one another.

The etiquette of a handshake normally dictates that you shake with the right hand, but this is not always possible, especially if you are disabled or similar, and people should bear this in mind, in order to avoid any embarrassment. You should extend your hand and grasp the other person’s hand, but not too hard that you are trying to wrestle them or crush their hand, and at the same time not too limp that you can’t be bothered to shake the other persons hand, as this can be equally off putting to the other person.  You need to find a middle ground. You then do two to three pumps, up and down and return your hand to your side. The pumps are gentle and not harsh but a gentle up and down action. Remember to keep some distance between you and the person your are shaking hands with, so you are not in their personal space, but at the same time your not stretching to reach each other.

While carrying out this ritual, make sure that your hands are clean and dry and not sweaty or have anything unpleasant on them!

If you are a gentleman, you will remove your gloves, however ladies may keep the gloves on as etiquette dictates. You then repeat this when you leave the other person’s company, for example at the end of meeting, the meal, or the celebration for which you are all together.

There is an argument that handshakes spread germs, while fist bumping lowers the risk. I do not disagree that it may pass on germs, but then we need to use common sense and wash our hands if we feel we have shaken hands with someone who may be unhygienic or give you cause for concern. I always recommend your hands are clean before you shake hands with another to avoid any thoughts on personal hygiene.

Please remember when it comes to royal etiquette, you never shake the hand of a Royal unless they extend their hand first.

You would bow or curtsey, in the first instance, at which point if the Royal wishes, they will extend their hand as a sign for you to shake their hand. This applies to both male and female Royals.

Recently, I ran as poll on Twitter, asking people if they thought handshakes are still relevant in the 21st-century, the results were:

Yes - 89%

No -  11%

Thankfully this showed me that, like myself, the majority still felt that handshakes were an important ritual, which will hopefully continue for anther 2500 years. A huge thank you to everybody who took part in the poll as all of your views count!