Saturday 9 July 2016

Etiquette of The Loo or not the Loo? That is the Question.

Since humans first walked the earth we have of course had a few basic needs. One of them being to relieve ourselves of our human waste. This has adapted many different sayings from "I am going to the Toilet" to "One's off to powder one’s nose". My question is where do these terms come from and what is the history behind it all? I decided to run a poll on Twitter to see what the general public felt about these terms and the results were fascinating but I will come back to these results later in the blog.



You may well ask, how long have we had the luxury of toilets/bathrooms and sewage works? Amazingly the answer is thousands of years. The Romans and Egyptians were the first to have had working sewers. Sir Mortimer Wheeler wrote, "The high quality of the sanitary arrangements could be envied in many parts of the world today". Sir Mortimer was the director general of archaeology in India from 1944 to 1948. He was of course referring to the fact that in 3000BC "Toilets" and sewers were invented in several parts of the world, with the Indus Valley civilisation being one of the most advanced in 2800BC. They had lavatories built into the outer walls of houses which were made with bricks and wooden seat tops with vertical chutes where the waste fell down into the street drains or cesspits. 

An example of "toilets" with flowing water to remove the waste were discovered early in Skara Bra in Orkney, Scotland which were occupied between 3100BC and 2500BC. These had a drain running directly underneath them. In the 18th Century BC Egyptians were using "toilets". Roman "toilets" are thought to have been in the sitting position, however sitting "toilets" only came into general use in the 19th Century in the western world. The Romans also installed "toilets" in the Bath Houses using running water. 

It was in 1596 that Sir John Harington, who was a prominent member of Queen Elizabeth I court, invented the modern flush "toilet" in his house in 1596. It was here that Queen Elizabeth I tried out his new invention. It was however Thomas Crapper who increased the popularity of the "toilet" and invented the ballcock. Thomas's product became high demand and was issued with several Royal warrants. Thomas Crapper also owned the worlds first bath, "toilet" and sink showroom in Kings Road, London until 1966. It should also be noted that sadly, this is where the word “crap” does indeed hail from due to his association with Lavatories. 

There is also interesting debates as to what you should call the daily ritual. It is for this reason that I am going to explain where the different variations come from. 

The word toilet is of course French. Many things in the 18th century Britain had French influence as it was fashionable for the times. Toilet means toile which is French for cloth. This toile or cloth would be draped over the lady or gentleman's shoulders while there was a series of operations been carried out on their hair and in relation to body care, which included the morning routine of washing, shaving, and making the person up. This took place around the dressing table which was also covered with a cloth on which the toile service was displayed. It consisted of a mirror and various brushes and it also contained the powder for make up. This ensemble would be called toilette as was the time spent at the table during which close friends and tradesmen were being received. It was only in later years that the word "toilet" became a euphemism for lavatory, as it would be said in the expression "powder my nose" meaning they were going to the "toilet". 

The word Lavatory is Latin for lavātōrium, which in turn comes from Latin for lavō ("I wash"). The word was referring to a sink or wash basin for washing, but eventually became a room for washing which would be found for example in medieval monasteries. Later the word became associated with "toilets" because the "toilet" would move into the same room that you wash in, and the meaning has over the centuries evolved into the present meaning. 

The term Loo has many theories but a personal favourite of mine is that it evolved from the word Waterloo, with the first recorded entry of the word in 1922. Waterloo or Watercloset would of course be shortened to Loo. 

Chamber pots were a pot in which you would excrete waste. These were made of ceramic or metal. Romans and Greeks brought them for meals and drinking sessions to other Roman or Greek homes. There were large receptacles in the cities into which the pots of urine would be emptied which was then collected and used for the urea in various production. In the ancient times pilgrims took chamber pots with them on the journeys, in the early modern era they would be made from China and copper with decoration. They were popular in the Victorian era.

Before the flushing Loo, people would use the chamber pot at night. I should add before flushing loos, the Loo was situated in a separate building or an outhouse next to the main house. Indoor lavatories were first provided for the upper classes and over time became available for the lower classes. In 1890 building regulations stated that the working class homes did not require indoor loos.  Today we don't use chamber pots except in hospitals which we now call bedpans. 

Now to the interesting debate and the correct term;  in 1954 Alan S.C Ross coined the terms "u and no u" (us and non us) in an article on the differences that social class makes in the usage of the English. Author Nancy Mitford wrote an essay on "The English Aristocracy" in 1954 using u and non u and provided a glossary of terms used by the upper classes. In this the world "toilet" was referred to as Lavatory or Loo but never "toilet", and to this day the term is still used by the upper classes. I personally find it amusing considering the term originally was "toilet" as used by the French, and let's not forget a French King created etiquette. It is interesting therefore that we choose not to use the French term but rather go with the term that refers to a waterloo (watercloset). This of course is how the British have developed etiquette into their own. The world now seems to look to us for this guidance. 

The question I ran in my poll last week was ‘what is the corrects term, Toilet, Lavatory or Loo, or Other’. The results were interesting and are as follows:

Toilet 23%

Lavatory or Loo 66%

Other 11%

So it appears the majority agree with Nancy Mitford that the correct term is of course Loo.

A huge thank you to everyone as always who took part in this week’s Twitter poll, without your wonderful votes and comments this would not be possible. This week I will run my next poll on Wednesday. 

Wednesday 29 June 2016

Etiquette of The Shoe


We have been wearing protection on our feet for well over 10,000 years. We all take it for granted that as part of our dressing ritual we place this protective item on our feet. Could you imagine if suddenly we did not have shoes? We would be restricted on what and where we can go but thankfully our ancestors thought about this and came up with the protective essential.

So who came up with the idea for a shoe? The earliest known shoe or rather, sandal, was found in 1938 in The Forest Rock Cave in the United States of America. The oldest leather shoe was found in a cave in Armenia in 2008 which dates back to 3500 BC. This shoe was made from a single piece of cowhide laced with leather cord along seams on the front and back.

It has been discovered by scientists that since we have been wearing shoes, this has resulted in less bone growth resulting in shorter and thinner toes as the thickness has decreased over the 26,000 years.

Even though Thong Sandals became a popular piece of footwear many ancient civilisations still preferred to be barefoot. Ancient Greeks shoes were worn in the theatre as a sign of status. Ancient Gods and heroes were depicted barefoot! Romans however came to see shoes as a sign of power and a necessity of the civilised world, but their slaves were always barefoot.

As civilisations developed, Thong Sandals were worn, which are our equivalent to modern day flip flops.There are images of the ancient Egyptians wearing them in 4000 BC. Another pair found in Europe were made from papyrus leaves and dated from 1500 years ago. Papyrus and palm leave Thong Sandals were the materials of the ancient Egyptians. Sandals were also popular in the first century in Jerusalem. The Masai of Africa made their sandals out of rawhide, while in India they were made from wood and rice straw was used in China and Japan. Leaves of the sisal plant made twine for sandals in South America and the Yucca plant was used in Mexico.

Medieval shoes were made with leather using a method known as the turnshoe method. This is when the leather was turned inside to make the shoe, then turned the right way when finished. Some shoes were even made with drawstrings to tighten the leather around the foot. The turnshoe method was replaced with the welted method in the 1500s. At this point patterns also became popular, also around this point Crakow shoes were popular which had extremely long toes. In the 16th Century, Royalty started wearing high heeled shoes to make them look taller and powerful, this is where we get the term “well heeled”. In the 17th Century most leather shoes had a sewn on sole and this remains the same way to this day. Shoemaking was commercialised in the 18th century to cope with the demand for quality shoes.

From the point of view of shoe etiquette, it is very simple! In the United Kingdom we are quite relaxed about wearing our shoes but in Arab culture you never show the sole of a shoe as it is considered rude. The only thing I do strongly recommend, during the day when visiting someone privately ( i.e. not a lunch / dinner party or event), if the shoes are dirty then it is polite to offer to remove them.

I also have a rule that brown shoes are for the day and black shoes are for the evening, however as fashions change, brown shoes are becoming more acceptable at evening events, such as a drinks party at an art gallery, paired with a dark navy suit. There is an urban myth that brown shoes are for the country and black shoes are for the city;  this is nonsense and I ask you all to ignore this myth.

On a more delicate nature I must also add if you suffer from BFO (Bad Foot Odour) then I recommend you address this before removing shoes in someone else's home. There are many products on the market to assist you with this, as there is nothing worse than for you and the host to have to sample your unpleasant fragrant problem in their home and worse still with their guests, as this can make you feel extremely embarrassed and unsure how to address the situation .

When it comes to the care and maintenance of your shoes, this is a very simple procedure which people seem to worry about. Personally I enjoy cleaning shoes and see it as a relaxing and enjoyable experience allowing me to make pride in seeing my work on my employer’s feet. Part of my butler courses also sees me teaching the students this time old method.

Very simply make sure you have the correct shoe polishes you need, i.e. Brown, Black or Neutral etc. It is important you are sure it is an exact match. I personally use Kiwi Shoe Polish. If you are not sure about the colour, always do a test area first! Next you need a cloth to apply the polish and one to take it off. I use two dusters for this. Remember each colour requires its own cloths for applying and taking off. Next, you need two old toothbrushes for the hard to reach spots, and finally you need to decide if you are going to use the spit and polish method or boiling water. 

I always put down some old newspaper on the area I will be cleaning the shoes to protect the surface of the table. If you are using water, boil the kettle, open the shoe polishing tin and in the lid part you will pour a small amount of the boiling water. Prepare the shoe by wiping off any excess dirt and taking a damp cloth over the sole to make sure the shoe is free from dirt. You then get one of the cloths and apply a small amount of water and then apply a small amount of shoe polish to the cloth. In a circular motion, you apply the polish all over the shoe. You can use the tooth brush (soft bristles) to apply the polish along the point where the leather joins the sole (welt) as this can be a tricky area to get into. Leave the shoe as you repeat the same process to the other shoe. I then leave them for around 15 minutes to settle. With the other cloth, you buff the whole shoe. The welt area is buffed with the other tooth brush. Buff vigorously until you achieve a good shine, then repeat the process to the other shoe. If you want to apply the spit and polish method, it is the same steps as above except instead of water you use your saliva (spit). You do this onto the side of the tin that contains the polish and gentle rub into the polish with the cloth and apply a small amount on the the shoe and rub all over. When buffing the shoe you also spit on the shoe a few times as you continue to buff.

If you are cleaning suede shoes, you do not apply water, spit or polish to the suede. You can use a damp cloth on the outer sole and heel. There are specialist cleaning products which any cobblers can recommend.

Recently, I ran a poll asking my social media followers how often do you clean your shoes. The results were the following:

Daily: 12%
Weekly: 12%
When required: 67%
Never: 9%

Thankfully, 'Never' was the lowest as you can see. I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who took part in the poll and the next poll will run this Wednesday, 24th February.

Monday 28 March 2016

Breakfast Etiquette

Breakfast

One of my favourite meals of the day is the first meal of the day, breakfast! Breakfast is classed as the most important meal of the day. Those of us who skip it realise that it affects our daily performance. I have personally discovered that on many occasion, if skipped, then by lunch time I struggle with concentration and accuracy of what I am doing. I am sure this is the case for many  people who choose to do the same.

Breakfast today has become more than just cereal, cooked breakfast and toast with many variations from pancakes and syrup to chocolate cereal bars.

As with all my blogs, lets begin with a little history behind breakfast. As the name suggests, Break Fast was breaking the fast from the previous night.

An early morning meal has been taken for thousands of years going back to the Neolithic times when people then used quern-stones to grind hulled grains and then boiled them to make something similar to porridge. Workers of ancient Egypt would also eat an early morning meal of beer, bread and onions before they were put to work by the Pharaohs. In Ancient Greece, their early first meal of the day consisted of barley bread dripped in wine accompanied by figs and olives. Greeks were also known to have pancakes. In Rome, the early morning meal was known to consist of bread, cheese, olives, salad and cold meats left over from the night before, as well as drinking wine.

In the Middle Ages breakfast was not considered important, but they would have two meals during the day. One in mid morning and one early evening, though this did vary throughout Europe.

In the 13th century, Dominican priest Thomas Aquinas wrote in his Summa Theologica that breakfast committed “praepropere": a sin of eating too early, which was connected with gluttony. In this time, overindulgence and gluttony were considered wrong by the Catholic Church. The Catholics  presumed that if you ate breakfast then you had other lusty appetites too. Alcohol, wine and ale were considered to be a weakness.

Breakfast in certain areas was only taken by children, the elderly, the sick and working men. Everyone else did not speak of or take part in eating in the morning. To eat  breakfast meant that you were poor, or worked as a farmer or labourer who needed the meal to sustain work. Medieval people saw gluttony as a sin and a sign of weakness and men became ashamed of eating breakfast.

In the 15th century, breakfast included meat. At this point, noble men were seen to enjoy and take part in breakfast and therefore it became common practice. In the 16th-century the Europeans were introduced to caffeinated beverages and this paved the way for consideration to allow breakfast. It was believed that coffee and tea helped the body in “evacuation of superfluities" and it was therefore consumed in the morning.

In the early sixteenth century, some physicians warned against eating breakfast because they said it was not healthy to eat before a prior meal was digested. By the 1550s, however there were multiple sources that claimed breakfast was actually an essential necessary meal. In 1551 Thomas Wingfield stated that breakfast was an essential meal. In 1589, Thomas Cogan stated that it was unhealthy to miss breakfast in the morning. Mr Cogan was one of the first to claim that it was healthy for those who were not young, ill or elderly to eat breakfast.

Prior to 1600, breakfast in the United Kingdom included bread, cold meat, fish and of course ale.
Today, the full English breakfast consists of bacon, sausages and eggs, often served with a variety of side dishes and a beverage such as coffee or tea.


The etiquette of breakfast is very simple. Breakfast is a sit down meal with a spoon and a starter fork and two starter knives (small); you also have a side plate and napkin. Your breakfast starts with a glass of freshly squeezed orange or apple juice. You then have a cereal, such as bran or similar, followed by the full English breakfast which always includes toast. During the meal, you would take tea or coffee. The toast should arrive with the crusts cut off and in rectangles. The reason for this is the fact you never cut toast at the table, nor should you break it. The pieces in the toast rack should be small enough to eat in a few bites. You apply the butter and condiment of your choice on the side of your plate and apply it to the toast from there. If you have larger pieces of toast, don't butter and apply your condiment all in one go, rather focus on a small piece at a time, but as mentioned you don't cut or break it.

Last week I ran a poll on Twitter asking if my followers like the crusts left on or cut off. The results were the following:


Crust% on 82%

Crusts off 18%

This was an interesting result showing that the majority felt the crusts are an important part of their breakfast. I was asked what should happen to the crusts that are cut off and it is simple. All crusts are given to the chickens or to the birds.

I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who took part in the poll and I will run my next poll later this week.

Thursday 25 February 2016

The Ritual Of A Handshake

Handshakes have been an important part of human civilization for many centuries, the first thing we do as human beings, when we meet another human being is to offer a hand as a sign of friendship and to show we mean no harm to the other person.

As we know, it is not always appropriate to hug or kiss someone, especially if you have never met this person before, so the handshake is without question the perfect introduction to another. Sadly today, the younger generation don’t seem so keen on handshakes as they have become second to a thing called ‘fist bumping’ or ‘hi-fiveing’, which is shocking considering they are the future of the human race, so could this mean an end to handshakes?

We have been shaking hands for over 2500 years. The first recorded image is of two soldiers in ancient Greece shaking hands taken in the fifth century BC. Handshakes are seen as a sign of friendship, and you mean no harm to one another by demonstrating that you held no weapon.  Today, handshakes are offered upon meeting or leaving someone, offering congratulations or showing gratitude to another.  It is also done as a sign of goodwill in sports and competitions, and it shows trust, respect and confidence to one another.

The etiquette of a handshake normally dictates that you shake with the right hand, but this is not always possible, especially if you are disabled or similar, and people should bear this in mind, in order to avoid any embarrassment. You should extend your hand and grasp the other person’s hand, but not too hard that you are trying to wrestle them or crush their hand, and at the same time not too limp that you can’t be bothered to shake the other persons hand, as this can be equally off putting to the other person.  You need to find a middle ground. You then do two to three pumps, up and down and return your hand to your side. The pumps are gentle and not harsh but a gentle up and down action. Remember to keep some distance between you and the person your are shaking hands with, so you are not in their personal space, but at the same time your not stretching to reach each other.

While carrying out this ritual, make sure that your hands are clean and dry and not sweaty or have anything unpleasant on them!

If you are a gentleman, you will remove your gloves, however ladies may keep the gloves on as etiquette dictates. You then repeat this when you leave the other person’s company, for example at the end of meeting, the meal, or the celebration for which you are all together.

There is an argument that handshakes spread germs, while fist bumping lowers the risk. I do not disagree that it may pass on germs, but then we need to use common sense and wash our hands if we feel we have shaken hands with someone who may be unhygienic or give you cause for concern. I always recommend your hands are clean before you shake hands with another to avoid any thoughts on personal hygiene.

Please remember when it comes to royal etiquette, you never shake the hand of a Royal unless they extend their hand first.
You would bow or curtsey, in the first instance, at which point if the Royal wishes, they will extend their hand as a sign for you to shake their hand. This applies to both male and female Royals.

Recently, I ran as poll on Twitter, asking people if they thought handshakes are still relevant in the 21st-century, the results were:

Yes - 89%
No -  11%

Thankfully this showed me that, like myself, the majority still felt that handshakes were an important ritual, which will hopefully continue for anther 2500 years. A huge thank you to everybody who took part in the poll as all of your views count!

Monday 15 February 2016

The Great Afternoon Tea Debate

Afternoon tea is one of Britain’s greatest pastimes and is very much set in British tradition. There are many variations on this iconic meal and a lot of confusion over the etiquette and guidelines of the correct procedures to enjoy afternoon tea.  Let’s begin with the historical part of afternoon tea. In the 1840s, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, Anna Marie, was visiting the Duke of Rutland at his ancestral home Belvoir Castle in Rutland. While staying at the castle, the Duchess was slightly shocked to discover that dinner was taken later than she was used to. Ladies usually took lunch around midday, as it was a relatively new meal. Anna Marie is rumoured to have said that she had a sunken feeling in the afternoon brought on by the need for something to drink and eat. The Duchess requested the butler to bring her some tea with sandwiches. It was at this point that afternoon tea was created. 



The Duchess of Bedford’s good friend, Her Majesty Queen Victoria, embraced this new meal and encouraged it at court. The Queen and Prince Albert began the Royal tradition of taking afternoon tea between 4pm and 6pm.

Quite simply, afternoon tea consists of tea (Indian or Chinese), sandwiches (preferably finger sandwiches), scones, and delicate cakes. The order of service is usually sandwiches, followed by scones and finally the cakes. You may also find some homes will serve biscuits, bread and jam and of course, in the winter months, crumpets. When you lay the tea place setting, you should use a side plate for your food, accompanied by a knife and fork either side or a tea napkin, which is (12 inches square to be exact). You may also have a plate with a jar of honey for the tea, and another with marmite for crumpets, if they are being offered.

You can use your knife to cut the sandwiches and the scones. There is a myth you never cut scones or sandwiches; this is totally untrue. You can then use the fork for the cake.
While enjoying your tea, you keep your saucer on the table unless you move away from the table, at that point you raise your saucer with the cup. 

The lady of the house always plays “mother”, meaning that she will pour the tea and invite her guests to help themselves to the sandwiches etc. When the lady of the house pours in the tea, she will use a tea strainer, as she should be using loose tealeaves, which is more traditional. Tea bags were originally invented as packaging for tealeaves in New York, however some people assumed you put the whole silk purse into the water.  The lady will ask the guest which tea they prefer “Indian or China” Once poured, the cup is then passed to the guest who will place it on their right above the Knife.

Sugar was not normally added to tea, however we now live in a time where sugar is added to most drinks. The sugar cubes are placed in a bowl for guests to help themselves with a pair of sugar tongs.

Originally, milk was not taken in tea, but this became a common practice in the 18th century. There is a story associated with this. China cups could not always resist the heat of tea and cracked, so there was a race to see who could create China that would not crack.
Josiah Spode came up with the correct formula, which consisted of animal bone. Bone china was born! It was well known that “downstairs” staff still had to put the milk in first so that their cups would not crack, while upstairs the aristocracy were pouring the milk in after, as their fine bone china cups did not. This is a tradition that the aristocracy and Royals continue with to this very day.
Last week, I ran a poll on Twitter asking the question “Do you pour milk in before or after the tea?” The response this created became a very interesting discussion, which resulted in people explaining to me why they poured the milk before or after. Some examples included “milk in first to stop cups from staining” and “how it affects the taste of the tea”.  This of course may be a discussion that we will always be having. The results of my poll were 72% said they put their milk in after the tea, while 28% put it in before. Thank you to all who took part and I will be doing another etiquette poll again soon.

Tuesday 9 February 2016

Train Etiquette


















I have been travelling to London on quite a few occasions and have noted that politness and manners have left not only the trains but also the platforms of some of our iconic stations. People seem to think they are back in the time of survival of the fittest. People race past you at the station to get on trains that are not leaving for at least 15 minutes. Why I asked myself is there this mad panic? Well it is simple, they all want to get the holy grail...a train seat! All common sense goes out of the window and ladies are pushed aside by these so called gentleman who try to get a seat before anybody else. Gone are the days when a gentleman would make sure a lady has a seat on a locomotive, or indeed help her board the train she is travelling on.

There is not even an offer of assistance to ladies, children or the elderly. The so called gentlemen make the pilgrimage to their thrones. I have been horrified to see this and now feel the time has come to remind gentleman that this is exacly what they are suppose to be, gentlemen! At my Royal Etiquette classes at Blenheim Palace and The Ritz Hotel in London, we can not stress the point enough the importance that a gentlleman should always act as such and I assure you that this is not taking place at our train stations accross the country.

I have noted that nobody ever asks if they may sit next to somebody regardless of if they have a seat booked or not. Out of common politeness before you invade somebody elses space, it is a common courtesy to ask if you may sit next to that person, and again out of politness they should be more than happy to allow this. It amazes me when boarding a train that others commuting put bags or laptops on the chair next to them to try and claim two chairs. This is just plain rude and I do not encourage this at all. May I remind all true gentlemen to help ladies put items in the storage areas where appropriate. 

Let us try to put the Great back into a Great British Railways.